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Monday, May 25, 2015

See, so here's the thing. By "Kimberly Evans"

See, so here's the thing. I am not really Kimberly Evans. If you read my book, you will know that. Kimberly Evans is just a name that I came up with, because I like it. I also like the name Trystalyn, or you could spell it Tristalyn. I like many names, but for my book, I decided on Kimberly Evans. 

I had to come up with a pen name, because my book talks about family members, and I want to keep their identity private. 

So, people who know ME, the real me, they know my book is real. They know all about me. But you, no. You have no idea who I am. I promise you, I am real. My story, is real. I am a real person, with a fake name for the book, and for all of this blogging. 

I really have achieved guilt free eating. I really have achieved mental wellness. I still have insecurities, and doubts, and questions, and "stuff", to be sure, but in general, I am at peace. I LOVE!!!!! 

So, please read my book!! Please!!! Please share it with women who you think it may help!! And, PLEASE, write a review on Amazon when you are finished. One more please, if you think it needs something, either more or less, please let me know. How can I help people if my writing is terrible. Feed back is very helpful. 

Thank you so very, very much!!! I wish you peace and happiness. 

Click here to find my book. 

To find me on Facebook: 
Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.



Thursday, May 21, 2015

My perfect storm. By Kimberly Evans.

We all have events that bring us to be a bit on the edge. Occasionally, many of those events line up in a row, resulting in, the perfect storm.

My events occurred over the last month, causing the strom. Luckily, it had been a long time since the last one. But, like with any major storm, the after math can take a while to clean up. 

I am currently in the clean up state. I have had to call in a team to help me. You, are a part of that team! 

I feel your support. :-)   I am clapping for you, too!!

Here is a description of my "events":

  1. The first event that happened was throwing my back out, for the first time ever. It is a long story, and I don't want to bore you, but now, a month later, I am still having issues. I see a doctor soon. This caused me to lose 2 weeks of exercise. 
  2. That event occurred at the same time that I was trying out a new way to eat.  I had not been fasting 2 days a week for a while, like I had been doing for the previous 2 years, and I wanted to try something. Sometimes, when you try something new with eating, there is an adjustment period. I was working through that at the time. 
  3. I had also just started my half marathon training. So, throwing my back out caused me to lose 2 weeks of training. That included running or cross training. All I could do was work, go home and ice my back,  and do things that I had to do for keeping up my house and family. 
  4. I quit drinking coffee one week ago. There are many reasons for this, and again, I don't want to bore you, but for me, it has been as hard as when I quit cigarettes. So, I lost a vice. Not the end of the world, alone, but in this line of events, it has been challenging.
  5. I normally get "alone time" on Mon. and Wed. lunch times. It is an arrangement I have with my husband. I NEED alone time. Aside from getting up early, those 2 hours a week are my only fairly guaranteed times that I get it. This past week, the Wed. time was not to be. For reasons beyond my husbands control, he had to be here. Now, if all of this stuff was not going on, no biggie, but it is.
  6. I have my period.
  7. I had to get an outfit for a class I was taking today. So, I had to go out, after work, and shop for clothes. This is not my favorite thing to do on any given day or time, but right now, really not what I wanted to do. And, my daughter had to get some things, so I had to bring her with me. It was not a good experience, and I actually left with no clothes. I ended up wearing very faded and outdated pants I have had for five years, and top I got about 3 years ago at a consignment shop. As a woman reading this, I hope you can see how this is all stacking up. 
  8. My hair is giving me issues. I am having issues with my hair. Not feeling overly confident about the style or color, at the moment. 
  9. I found out, that my kids have Friday off. So, no alone time Wed. Shopping Wed. night, continuing education feeling frumpy, still a bad back, and now, kids home on Friday, a day I normally have the day to catch up on errands, and just not have to be "on". Again, not a big deal if all this other stuff is not going on, but it is. 
Okay, so now what? I have learning to do positive self mantras. I have learned to smile, and fake it till I make it. I have learned to tell my husband why I seem so cagey. I have learned not to go to food for comfort. I know to use minimalistic talk, instead of over exaggerating. So, I write, and share!!!  This is my outlet. I shared on Facebook today that I am so lucky to have such silly problems. I have made a list of things I am grateful for. I know that this too shall pass. I am taking deep breaths. I know I am not alone. I am self soothing.
My calm, after my storm. At least that is what I am telling myself. :-)

Monday, May 11, 2015

I am giving away a million dollars!!!!

I hope that got your attention! 

What I am actually offering, is my life's story, about how I no longer suffer from emotional eating. It is worth well over a million dollars, in my opinion, because my addiction is GONE!  If I were famous, you would want to read my book! Pretend I am! I don't actually want to be famous, I just want my life to help others!!!

My food triggers are gone!
My guilt with food is gone!
MY shame about food is gone! 

I feel AMAZING!!!!

I feel like I have this incredible secret to share with the woman who are still struggling, but because I am "nobody", and I am not a published author, people are reluctant to check it out. I can't blame them! 

But, I am somebody!!!! I am me!!! And I feel so good!!! No more depression! No more general anxiety! Really, you can read all about it.

 Click here to purchase

Facebook: Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Allow what you encourage in your children, to encourage you. By, Kimberly Evans

Let me say, right off, that my mother is amazing!!!!! She is strong, and smart, and beautiful, and kind, and generous, and funny, and interesting, and all good things. I love her with all of my heart, and I have no ill feelings toward her at all. 

                                                              Picture, by Mary Cassatt

You would expect a but next, and yet, (see what I did there?), there is no but. What there is, is an understanding that, although she is, and has always been those things, she was not the kind of mother I needed when I was young. That is neither her fault, or of any concern to her. I am now a 45 year old woman, who has learned to love her where she is at, and to give myself the love, and nurturing I need. That did not happen over night. I read books, and went to counseling, and I meditated, and I got healthy relationships. I worked at it. It did not "just happen". 

Recently, I have learned how to do this even more, through watching how my daughter responds to the love, and support, and guidance, and nurturing I provide. On our way to her dance class today, I was telling her, again, how many talents she has. She is an incredible singer, an amazingly creative, and versatile artist, with a unique set of insights. She is a beautiful dancer, and she is humble about all of this. But, if I was not cultivating this, perhaps her story would be different. I thought, if I had been my own mother, I would have been a more self assured, confident, happy person, at a younger age. But, I am "my own mother" now, so I am watching myself blossom into a very healthy, and talented adult. 


Friday, May 8, 2015

NO MORE TRIGGERS!!!!!!!! By, Kimberly Evans.

I used to have triggers. Things, or events, or feelings, or foods, that would set me into a binging mood. Then, I would always have guilt, and shame. The cycle would go on and on and on and on...... Years of this. Super annoying!!

My triggers are gone. I can experience all of life, and I no longer have guilt or shame about any of my actions. 

I can eat a cookie, and not feel like the biggest loser in the world. 
I can try on clothes that make me look horrible, and not feel like the fattest, ugliest, worthless person in the world.
I can be with people that may make me feel uncomfortable, and not feel like something is wrong with me. 
I can eat carbs, and not have to eat the whole kitchen. 
I can sneak eat, and just realize that sometimes, that is going to be normal for me. I don't feel badly about it any more. 
I can eat "comfort food", and actually feel comforted, and happy, and joy. 

I no longer beat myself up. 
I no longer feel weak.
I no longer worry, endlessly, about my shape, and my food. 

I still am healthy, and for the most part, I enjoy being fit, and eating food that makes my body feel good. But sometimes, I just eat crap, and I ENJOY IT!!!!!! 

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever again will  say, oh, I CAN'T eat that, I am on a diet, or I am trying to lose weight. 
I will never miss another invite to lunch because I "just started this new plan".

If you want to read how I got to this very incredible part of my life. Read my book.  

Find me on Facebook:
Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

I am the mother of the baby I was born to be. By, Kimberly Evans

I am my own mother.
I am the mother of the baby I was born to be.
I was born with no problems, or issues.
I lived a life that created problems, and issues. 
I am now reborn, and I have nurtured my way back to having no problems, or issues.
I just have life.
I take care of my emotional, and  physical needs.
I love myself, like the sweet newborn I am.
I sing to myself, and speak sweetly, and softly.
I feed myself nutritious food, to help me live a happy, healthy life. 
I sometimes cry, and then I remember, I am okay. I am here. All will be okay.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Wait, what? You don't like Mother's Day?! By, Kimberly Evans.

Not liking Mother's Day, does not make me a bad mother.  It does not make me selfish, or hurtful, or rude.

    I am a mom, who does not like Mother's Day. At least, not in the traditional sense.

 I loved getting the gifts my little kids made in school, but once they became older, and it became an obligation, I lost interest.

In my young years as a mom,  I thought I "should" be pampered on Mother's Day. When my kids were babies, I often felt resentful, because I was still emotionally immature, and my focus was on the wrong thing.  I was often feeling let down by life. I felt that I was suppose to "not lift a finger", and that I should get flowers, and taken out, and etc...

Then, I grew up. I have a different perspective now. I LOVE my kids, and I know they love me. I love my mom, and she loves me.

My husband is my husband, and he does not have to celebrate me as the mother of his kids. I know he loves me, and respects me, and values me, and I do the same for him.

Mother's Day, for this mom, should pass with no fanfare, unless my kids authentically want to do something to show appreciation. And if they don't, that does not mean they don't appreciate me. They show, and tell me that they do, everyday, in many ways.

If you are a mom who has lost a child, either before they were born, or after, I hope you can take this day to celebrate the child that is gone, only in flesh. I celebrate all of the children that passed - be they passed still in the womb, or any age where we would say "oh, they were so young." That could be age 60. I celebrate each life lost in the flesh, and each life still seen, this Mother's Day.  


Are you a judge? By Kimberly Evans.

We are ALL in this together  
Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.
I originally wrote this last year.  
"Don't judge a book by it's cover." Most of us have heard that. Who actually practices it? When my son was small, because at school he struggled, and I did not want the teachers to judge him, or more importantly, judge me, as a "bad person" or him as a punk kid, I would not allow him to get a Mohawk hair style when he wanted one, until he had already established himself with the teachers as the nice boy he is.

 I taught him, at an early age, to prove himself to people by fitting in,  and waiting until he was accepted to express himself. WRONG message! That did not work anyway, because he has dyslexia, and teachers did not recognize it, so he was made to struggle anyway, despite all of his very best work, and his very best behavior. 

He is the most amazing person, and I, along with the teachers, did not build him up, the way I would have if I knew what I know now. Now, I build him up. 

I have always let both of my kids pick out their own clothes, and as long as they were weather appropriate, I never said what I thought. I at least did that. 

When my daughter was age 6, she wanted to be bald. I came up with all the reasons she could not be. Again, I was afraid of both her and I being judged. I came up with an idea called "Bald cutie for a cause", and I made brochures. I was going to raise money for a local dyslexia teaching center. 

The more I talked about  doing it for others, with my daughter, the less she wanted to do it. She wanted it for her. So, by age 7, at the end of second grade, I let her do it. In fact, I did it for her. I have great pictures of the day. It was actually Father's Day that year. She loved it!!!!

 I started learning how I feel about this judging people thing. Our family had many discussions about not judging others. I am actually fairly good at it, BUT because I am often insecure, I don't like it when people do it to me, or my family.

 But, they will anyway, so why should I care? I care sometimes, because I hear stories about "the state" coming in, and taking away children. People can get it into their heads that you are making a bad choice, because it is not a popular choice, and that can sadly sometimes cause a big problem. That is scary. 

So now, many years later, I let my kids express themselves. I am not saying I would allow piercings or tattoos or anything permanent at their ages, but to a large degree, they are allowed to be who they are. When someone I know said I am letting my kids do what ever they want, and causing them to be spoiled, I pointed out, being a dental hygienist, that if they asked me to have all their teeth pulled, I would not allow that. I safely allow them to express themselves. 

My daughter, who is now 11, just shaved half of her hair, and some say it causes her to look like a punk, and some say it is amazing. 

My daughter is amazing. My son is amazing. What they look like has nothing to do with that. Our bodies are our shells. All the pictures we take don't reflect who we are, only what we look like. What you think about when you look at a picture, which is always looking back at the past, is your reality, and your now. I love looking back at pictures of my childhood, and I tell the story I want to remember, and forget the stuff I don't. That way, my now is awesome. I hope my kids get to experience more of the awesome in their present life and don't have to change their story too much to make it happy.
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."- E. E. Cummings

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Yes, so there is that. By Kimberly Evans.

Today, I was shown again, how life is not fair. It is not fair. It is not. It is not fair.

I will not feed the bad wolf, I will not! The bad wolf must be starved. The good wolf must be pet, and nurtured and loved.

I am only sharing this for comfort.

I don't pretend to have answers. I often have many questions. I am often relearning, rethinking, holding back, trying hard to empathize, and trying to be a role model. I often want to say EFF YOU!, to the world. I  don't care that my house is a mess, and that my grammar is not perfect, and that I don't have the best that money can buy. I believe in love, and kindness, and forgiveness, and  truth. I have so much truth that I have not yet shared with the world. It will happen.

 But, more often than not, I say, I love you, to the world. I love, and I trust love is the right way to go. Hate and anger will bring more of the same. Love, and trust, will bring more love, and trust. I can only control myself. I can only control how I react. I love me! I will take care of me. That will allow me to also have room to take care of you. We are ALL in this together.

Love to you. Love for you. Peace and love to, and for you!

Inside all of us! By Kimberly Evans.

I am not a Pollyanna. I don't think I am better than you. I don't think I know more than you.

I am choosing to feed the wolf that stands for good.

I used to feed both wolfs, so they both thrived. I now only occasionally throw the angry wolf a bone, and let me tell you, it doesn't take much to get that wolf going. Once fed, the energy level is fierce, and determined, and it takes a tranquilizer, in the form of meditation and reflection, to quiet it down.

I have a current dream to be self-employed. I am, ever so slowly, working toward that goal. I have passion that goes along with personal goals, and I will focus on that, and not the things that could hold me back.