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Sunday, April 26, 2015

I aint no professional writer, or nothin... But I know about binge eating!! By Kimberly Evans

I know binge eating!!! I spent my life doing it. I wrote a book all about it! I want my book to change the lives of all of the woman who still do it. Here is the thing, I am not a professional writer. The book is out there, and it is readable, but it is not polished. The nice thing about self-publishing, is that I can make edits, and upload them live, onto kindle. So, that is what I am doing. I hope to upload the most up to date edits this coming week. BUT, it is still a great book. I say that because I FIXED MYSELF!!!! I was a sneak eater, a binge eater, a dieter, a calorie counter etc.......... I was so irritated with myself!!!

If this sounds like you, please read my book.


Click here, to purchase Perseverance, By Kimberly Evans.

To find me on Facebook: 
Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

My obituary. By Kimberly Evans.

 I don't really understand obituaries. I mean zero disrespect to all of those who do understand traditional obituaries! The way that most are structured, we find out things like, where the deceased went to school, how many wives/kids/husbands/jobs/awards/committees they had/achieved/were on. I just don't think I understand why we honor someone so much after they leave. Honor each other now. I think I may want my obituary to me more of a message to the world, rather than a post-mortem resume of sorts. 

Here is what I might want my obituary to say. Written just as it is here, as a message. 

I was a screwy, quirky person who wants all of the people she left behind to be as happy as they can possibly be. I want each person to understand that it is up to them to make this world better. Not by voting and striking and signing petitions, but simply by being nice. Be real. Be vulnerable. If you were hurt, remember how it feels and don't hurt others. To my children, live as if I am still with you, I am. You will be okay without me physically here. To my husband, because of our lives together, mine was rich and meaningful. You are free to love again. I want people to know that sometimes, as a child and as an adult, I screamed and cried in pain because sometimes life is hard. Sometimes life is so hard that you don't want to go on. Please talk about that openly so that people know it and don't feel alone. Sometimes, as adults, we are scared and life can feel hard, but it is up to each person to be the light of the world. Kids are just small adults. They are the next generation. Keep them excited about life and the many wonders. Adults, do your absolute best to not pass on hate,anger,frustration,worry,fear,anxiety etc.... If a moral or ethical law is broken, if someone is hurting another, that is wrong, no question, but if it is a matter of opinion, and either side is not hurting the other, respect each others opinion and act respectfully. Agree to disagree. You don't have to be friends with everyone, but don't have enemies in your heart. Keep spirits up. Love each other, even if you don't agree. LOVE.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

The secret to happiness. By Kimberly Evans.


I did not even start to become emotionally mature, until around age 36. I had to go through years of counseling. I read many self help books, including, The Power of Now, A New Earth, The Four Agreements, and Living Beyond Your Feelings, to name a few. I still practice daily using positive mantras, and trying to find ways I can help in the world, rather than be helped. I seek positive influences, and try my best to surround myself with other emotionally mature people. I post this stuff to help others, because I have been on both sides, and this side is WAY better...... smile emoticon I want to give back, now that I understand how much better you can feel. 


"It is possible to become more emotionally mature. Here are some activities that can help:
Do things for others: Look for opportunities to be unselfish, whether it's not talking about yourself and instead, asking your partner about their life, and genuinely listening to them. This helps make it easier for you to give and receive genuine love and affection.
Expand your social circle: Take an honest look at who you spend time with. Are they personally and professionally successful? Or are they excuse makers who blame others? Seek out people who can bring out the best in you rather than the worst.
Play fair: Cooperate with others rather than trying to win all the time. You can practice this with friends by not always having to have your way with where to eat or what movie to see, with your partner the next time you have a disagreement, or at work by asking for others opinions and seeking mutually beneficial solutions to problems. Practice being happy instead of right.
Be honest with yourself: None of this will work if you are not willing to take a good look at yourself from the outside. Consider how others see you and face reality. It isn't going to go away so you might as well face it and deal with it constructively. Being honest with yourself will only increase your self-esteem because deep down, you know if you are avoiding reality and it keeps you feeling like a fraud. If you start facing it, it can only get better."

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Be selfish enough to know that world happiness and peace starts with you. By Kimberly Evans.

This is a good idea! It is never a good idea to lump an entire day, week, month year, into "what a bad...." ALWAYS find the good in everyday. Even in every moment. If you are having a miserable moment, try to stop and find a positive - it may be that your hair is not on fire. Make yourself laugh with a totally random thought - maybe be happy that it is not literally raining cats... or pigs, or knives.... Just try to find the positive. The world will be a much happier place - world wide - if everyone took their personal responsibility to be happier. Be selfish enough to understand that your bad day, no matter where you are, is my day. And I will do the same for you! Smile today, at as many people as you can - make that effort!





 If more people just say, we can do this, WE CAN! Will you decide today that we can? Add to the good - it is up to YOU and ME!

Saturday, April 18, 2015

I will not tell you what to eat! By Kimberly Evans

A little story. My dad is 84. In a nutshell, he grew up eating what others prepared for him. First his mom, then his wife. I don't think he gave much thought to food. But then, a tragedy happened in his family, when he lost his brother to a sudden death. At the same time our culture was starting to talk about food in different ways. At some point, my dad really starting looking at the connection to food and health. He had gotten to be pretty over weight, and wanted to fix that. He did Atkins. That took off the weight, and he felt amazing. Over the next several years, he played around with carbs. He noticed when he ate them, especially in the form of bread or sweets, he did not feel very good. BTW, I am over simplifying all of this, remember, nutshell. Anywho, long story short, he recently switched to zero (or almost) carbs. He feels even more amazing. He goes to the gym, his mind is sharp, doctors tell him he is healthy. It is working for him. I tell this story, not to convince people to eat this way, but to offer it up as something to think about.

 Luckily, someone recently challenged my dad on his food choice. Well, they did not actually challenge HIM, they challenged the eating style. Here is his response.
The comment was: "You need sugars for the brain."  His response was: "Yes, part of the brain requires glucose for fuel, but don't forget that your body will make glucose, and can make all you need. We "zero carbers" are familiar with how the Inuit, living in the lands of ice and snow, lived healthy lives in the face of nothing green around them year round. All they ate was animal flesh and organs, including marine life, and lots of healthy fats. And I put zero carbers in quotes because we can't completely go carb free. Even animal meat contains a bit of carbs. Our principal interest is in restricting what we eat to food from the animal kingdom.

I began this restrictive journey two months ago and don't look back. As my lovely daughter said, I'm healthy, no statins or blood pressure meds ever, no IBS or food allergies, no yeast infections, etc. Still have all my parts. Since leaving most carbs behind 15 years ago, I can't remember the last time I had a cold, so my immune system must be pretty healthy. This year, I've taken three rather serious tumbles that in many my age would have resulted in a broken bone or two. I got up and carried on. I just got home after riding my motorcycle a few miles. So, all's well and I want to keep it that way. 

That's why when we go out for dinner, I restrict what I eat to meat, preferably a good steak, with no appetizer, dessert or sides. Likewise, breakfast is just eggs and bacon, no toast or fries.

So I hope I've made it clear that this is not short term, it's a life style. And there are plenty of others on this eating pattern that are glad to tell the same story."


 Here is a blog post from someone who is a ZCer...
 Check out this amazing blog post by this very funny lady! 

My Facebook page:Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.

Clickity click click here, to purchase my book. Perseverance.



Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Eat. Stay. Love.



Stream of consciousness from about two days ago. 
And so here it goes. I woke up, just now, well, about 20 minutes ago, and suddenly had to write. I had no warning this was coming. It is 12:40am, and I have to work 10 hours tomorrow, Monday. I am fasting tomorrow, which I love doing, but means I won't be able to do any soothing with food or drink tomorrow. That really makes no difference and I don't know why I am even mentioning it. 

You see, my life still has an occasional whirling, jumbled up ball of fucked-up, thoughts of panic, and doubt, and, worry, and questions, and if I don't say that, I am lying, which is what I say in my book to not do. By lying to others, you are first lying to yourself. Now, I still consider myself to be mentally and emotionally healthy and mature. I can put those fucked-up parts of my brain into a much smaller ball now. I picture it as a ball anyway, and it only bounces around in my mind every once and a while. But, even saying fucked-up makes me think I will alienate all of the other mature, truly mature,  people of the world, like the Dali Lama, and Miguel Ruiz, and Eckhart Tolle, and other spiritual leaders. I aspire to be like them. I want world peace and I want to live in a world of laughter and lightness and joy and understanding and enlightenment and happiness and togetherness as a world. I bet they don't swear, but I imagine it is because they were able to create a life of balance, that does not involve the influence of others, to a large degree. I am sure I am not saying that right. Ya know what? Swearing, and expressive language will be for another post. Today, in order for me to express my current state of emotions, I need to say fuck-up, and shit, and screw it, and I need to say that sometime I feel so fucking repressed, I may lose my mind. The life I have created, causes me to bite my tongue, a lot!!!!!! Ouch. But, sometimes, to be emotionally mature, you do have to live with the choices you have made, and make the very best out of them. There will usually be a time and a place to express yourself that is more appropriate. Like, when you are chatting with your girlfriends. If you have good ones, you can talk honestly and just, let it out. Ok, I have gone on a bit of an tangent to my original points in my head, but that is what it is like to be woken up at this time of morning and have to write.

But the choices I have made in my life have put me here, where I am right now. This is not where I wish I was, exactly. Had I been more emotionally mature and mentally healthy, at a younger age, I would have made different choices than I have made. But seeing as I wasn't, and I didn't, I sometimes feel trapped by the decisions I did made. Now, I have made an amazing life out of the choices I have made, but still, there are times I want to say, ok, now I am a very different person than I was before, and I want to live a different kind of life than the one I have. But, you can't just do that. I have created a life. A life with people in it. People who I love. People who love me. I have a job which pays the bills and isn't terrible, but not the one that brings me passion. I am thinking of  a book about a woman who was sobbing on her bathroom floor because her life did not resemble her. This woman went off to find herself, leaving behind her marriage. I don't think that is the mature, kind, responsible way to do it, but, her book sold tons of copies, and, apparently she found herself, so it seems to have worked for her. All that aside, I want to talk about what I feel is an extremely important point.

Parents, allow your children to be them! Allow them to first, be children. Allow them to express themselves. Not who you think they should be. Provide gazillions of opportunities for experiences, but don't force them to stick to anything they hate, at least not at a young age. That is not how to teach them to follow through. If they get to be older, and they have begged you to do a certain thing, and have promised they will see it through, then yes, hold them responsible to seeing it through. Unless, what they are doing is causing them such distress, and they can admit they were wrong and learn from it that way. I guess what I am saying is, you will need to always balance everything so that you are not enabling them, but also that you are not torturing them.  They may go through katrillion of phases and it is your job to love them unconditionally through each and every one of them. You need to teach them to be kind to themselves and others. You need to teach them how to eat food that makes their body feel good. You need to teach them to take care of themselves physically, so that they can perform at what THEY like to do to the best of their ability. Teach them to be respectful to those that earn respect and teach them how to react respectfully to those that don't. Please, don't say kids don't come with a manual, as an excuse to stay uneducated about your unique child. In this day and age, with the babillions of libraries, and Amazon, and Google, and with the wealth of books and material written on I think almost every subject, you can read about most things and educate yourself. The one that will educate you the most, will be your own child, in many, but not all cases. There are also gobs of support groups on-line. I think Facebook has a support group for most conditions, life style choices, interests, etc. but I could be wrong. 


One of the things that happened today, out of the heaps of things that did happen today, was that I asked someone if I could hang a flier up at their place of business. The flier has on it, a picture of the cover of my book, as it is now. The person said I could hang it up, and  asked if I could first create a picture for the flier that did not include the nudity that is on it, as it would be seen by small children. Which I happily did, because the person knows the  audience of their business, and  I respect that. But it got me thinking... What do the majority of people think of the cover? I personally would not mind if a small child saw it. I am, because of the choices I have made, currently fairly conservative. I have a side that will emerge with age, that will not be so much, but for now, yes. I think the cover is tasteful, and, it is meant to be empowering. It is a human body, that has been through a lot. It is a body. We all have them. It is covered up. I am not angry when asking this question. I may be way off here, in my liking of it.  It is hard to be objective sometimes, with your own stuff. That is why I am asking. You, the reader of this blog, be honest. I am asking your opinion, so please give it to me. Below is the current cover of my book. I had to do it "myself", with help from someone that does not want to be mentioned. We don't have any money to invest in getting anything professionally done. But, I think it is fitting, for what the book is about. Which, by the way, is my LIFE. I am trying to sell people a copy of my life's story. It is pretty scary, and yet, I am doing it because I hope it can help woman, and some men, who may feel compelled to read it,  feel empowered to tell their own story. 




You can answer under comments below, or find me on Facebook:

Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Babies are not born with issues. From the author of Perseverance, by Kimberly Evans.

No one asked me, but........

I know from personal experience, and also from life experience, that  mindful parenting is essential to this world healing. We parents come with many preconceived ideas that are just plain wrong. I have heard way too many times, "Oh yeah, I already know I will be paying for my kids therapy". Now, that can be a positive, because at least there is acknowledgment that parenting is a huge job, and that sometimes we screw up, and we know we are leaving an impact. But, I think it is our responsibility to try to parent with the idea in mind that we want to create the least amount of damage. We don't want our kids to have to go through years of therapy to learn to be emotionally mature people. It is good that there is that option, but it is us adults that have to get the therapy now, in order to be the emotionally mature person. Break cycles of unhealthy parenting. That does not mean you can blame anyone. You can't blame your parents. They did the best they could. But if you can see that it should have been done differently, do it. Learn how. Immediately.

Parents, allow your children to be them! Allow them to first, be children. Allow them to express themselves. Not who you think they should be. Provide gazillions of opportunities for experiences, but don't force them to stick to anything they hate, at least not at a young age. That is not how to teach them to follow through. If they get to be older, and they have begged you to do a certain thing, and have promised they will see it through, then yes, hold them responsible to seeing it through. Unless, what they are doing is causing them such distress, and they can admit they were wrong and learn from it that way. I guess what I am saying is, you will need to always balance everything so that you are not enabling them, but also so that you are not torturing them.  They may go through katrillion of phases and it is your job to love them unconditionally, through each and every one of them. You need to teach them to be kind to themselves and others. Teach them positive self talk from the moment they can first understand that. You need to teach them how to eat food that makes their body feel good, and allow them to sometimes eat food that makes them happy, but is not good for them nutritionally.  You need to teach them to take care of themselves physically, so that they can preform at what THEY like to do to the best of their ability. Teach them to be respectful to those that earn respect, and teach them how to react respectfully to those that don't. Please, don't say kids don't come with a manual, as an excuse to stay uneducated about your unique child. In this day and age, with the babillions of libraries, and Amazon, and Google, and with the wealth of books and material written on, I think almost every subject, you can read about most things and educate yourself. The one that will educate you the most, will be your own child, in many, but not all cases. There are also gobs of support groups on-line. I think Facebook has a support group for most conditions, life style choices, interests, etc. but I could be wrong.

 Eckhart Tolle
We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt about being happy from PARENTING WITH PRESENCE by Susan Stiffelman, which is the inaugural title in Eckhart's new publishing imprint with New World Library. Read the full excerpt here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…/parenting-with-presence-a_b…

A note from Susan Stiffelman: The following excerpt is from my new book, Parenting With Presence: Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident Caring Kids (An Eckhart Tolle Edition.) Writing this book...








Perseverance, by Kimberly Evans. 

Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.









Monday, April 6, 2015

A few words about Jagoda, a far away friend that is so dear. By Kimberly Evans, author of Perseverance.

I really can't write adequately enough, about the feelings and emotions that come up when I think about the person who wrote my second Foreword, which I have included below because I could never do it justice. 
 
Jagoda always said exactly what I wanted to hear about my book. From day 1, when it was just a blog. She commented that my words were having an impact on her life. That she felt a connection between us, because she had so many similar thoughts herself. She was my biggest cheerleader, to the point that I often did not believe she was even real. But, I was not paying her to say any of the things she said, so why would she say them? 

When it came time to publish my book, I wanted her to be a part of it so I asked her if she wanted to write the Foreword. It meant very much to me that she said yes.

When I read her Foreword, I really felt as if I had just been given the very best gift in the entire world. I felt like I had won the lottery, or as if I was on camera, and someone was going to jump out and tell me none of this is real. She is the reason I wrote the book. I feel that I wrote it to her, and for her. She has been generous in her praise of me, and I want to be equally generous in my praise for her. 

We have kept a connection, though Facebook. You see, she is in Poland, and I am in the US. We don't speak the same language. She amazes me. Due to her strong desire to connect with me, and others, she translates her words to English. I hope someday we will meet in person. 

Here is her Foreword: 
 


Foreword (2)

I am honoured and deeply touched with the privilege of receiving the request to write a foreword for the book which changed my life, called “Perseverance”. It’s very important for me to write how great an influence it has on my life.

The author, this amazing and brave young woman decided to share her deepest secrets and the vicissitudes of her life in order to spread her experience to all people in need. She transformed her failures into victories and now she passes forward true wisdom. The book is not just about eating disorders or depression, although, these topics scroll through the content. There’s something more in it. It reveals the struggle of a young person, lost in this scary world, lonely but yet full of hope, compassionate, loyal, kind and wise. She fought her weaknesses with admirable inner discipline. She persevered.

I’m a young adult, maturing, just entering the grown-up world. I came across this book by accident but it happened at the time when I needed it most desperately. Problems concerned in this literary masterpiece are familiar to my own experiences and I am sure that any person reading it will find a reflection of their own problems there. Topics described in this book are timeless and common to teenagers and adults all around the world, including me.

Thanks to the author I finally know the direction I want to follow. She opened my eyes. She made me more confident. She literally changed my life and made me the person I am now. I could not stop reading her book, in her memories I could find my own thoughts. I was deeply moved by honest and poignant descriptions of her inner struggles. I suffered along with the main character and cried bitter tears. There were also moments in this book which gave me laughter or a serene smile. The author gave me a lot of deep feelings of joy, hope and love. It created a boost of positive motivation inside me. Whenever I’m sad or I have a problem, I recall sentences from this magnificent book and they help me find balance. When I doubt myself it’s the author who gives me hope. For the first time I “met” someone who shared my experiences and talked about them so honestly. I’m proud to call her my friend. It’s easy to say: “the world is cruel and everybody is mean”. It takes a lot of courage to learn from our mistakes and to make life lessons out of painful events, of which none of us is free. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she used her difficult past to create her wonderful future. She makes the world a better place, the same world which was so raw and demanding to her. In this book the author shows people how to live their lives in order to find happiness and peace of mind. She is a living proof that everybody can change their lives by simply being honest with themselves.

I know I will return to this book many times in the future in order to “fix” my way of thinking, and put it back on the right track. It’s full of optimism, wisdom and TRUTH. This book keeps it is readers in suspense and makes them curious about the ending – which is absolutely fantastic. This story is personal and full of emotion. It is touching and full of joy of life. The author writes “We are all in this together”. When you talk to this warm person, you really feel that she is with you, she understands you and she cares about you.

Get ready for a trip inside your mind. Be prepared for an outspoken and painfully honest confessions about yourself while reading the story of life of the author. If you feel depressed, believe me, she has been there. If you suffer from overwhelming loneliness or anxiety – she is the one who will help you manage those feelings and transform them into a source of your inner strength. If you really want to be successful, you have to get involved with all your heart. If you are ready to be happy – this is the book for you! It is a feast for the soul, written with outstanding literary skill and supported with deep psychological reflections. This creative, empathetic and sensitive author exposes the truth about the world just for you.

I will be forever grateful to her for this manual of life, for the word “perseverance” has a new meaning to me now. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write those words here.

Your eternal soul mate,
Jagoda Danielak


Click here to purchase Perseverance, by Kimberly Evans.

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Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.