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Thursday, November 5, 2015

I will not turn to the darkside, I don't think. By Kimberly Evans.


 Some of this will sound crazy, but is it? Who's to say?

So, is it a sign of my age? Does this happen to everyone? I remember thinking when I was younger, that many older people were cynical, and jaded and they thought the world was going to pot. But, is it? 

Oh no! I am starting to feel a bit on the edge here. I am a firm believer that world peace is possible, if we all believe that it is, and start acting like it is, and if we are just kind to each other. I believe in good. Don't let me lose you in the next paragraph. 

But now, all of a sudden, I also want to say FUCK YOU!, to all of the mean people who refuse to just be nice. To all the parents who keep raising kids to be mean to other kids. To all the parents who are mean to other parents. I want to scream and cry and tell them what I really feel about how closed minded and rigid thinking they are. I sometimes don't want to be nice. I want to fight back against the people who I kill with kindness, in the hopes that they may actually turn into kind people. WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I just want to fucking tell everyone who is not nice to fucking shut the fuck up and admit they are hurting inside in some way, and that that is why they are so hard. I want them to be BraveListen. I don't believe people are mean to other people because they want to be. I don't think people are bad. Really I don't, but I still sometimes just think there really is no hope, and that I am a complete idiot for trying to think the world can heal. It is sometimes so much work to catch more bee's with honey. Sometimes I just want all the bees to turn into butterflies.

I want to believe in what Eckhart Tolle talks about in The Power of Now, and A New Earth. I want to believe in what Don Miguel Ruiz talks about in The Four Agreements. I want to stop living within my feelings and Live Beyond my Feelings, like in the book by Joyce Meyer. I want us to understand that addiction, to everything is due to trauma - it may be as "small" as not being validated as a child, or as big as seeing a horrible crime, or being victim of a horrible crime. The personal perspective is what dictates the trauma. Your trauma may seem bigger to you than another persons, but to them, their trauma is as big as yours. ALL addiction stems from an unhealthy mind. I do believe in what I listened to in this podcast by Gabor Mate. He explains why addictions start, and how to prevent them. 

We have enough. Not only that, we have an abundance, of everything. We have more than enough food, and we have starving people. We have more than enough money, and we have poor. We have way too many houses, and buildings, and more are being built everyday.  I think that when I am finished with my house, someone else should just get it. No money exchanged. I think that I should be able to go in search of the kind of house I need. I think we ought to live more in what we need, and not in what we want. I think that we should raise our kids to do what they love, and learn to do it well, and share their talents with the world. I don't think pay should be based on, well, what ever it is based on now. I think we should all get the same, and we should be raised to give of ourselves what we are good at. I may be an excellent cook, I shall cook for people. You may be an excellent doctor, you shall fix people. Another person may be good at making people laugh, they will do that, etc....Find what we love and do it, because we love it. Some people will be naturally good at leading people, and doing it in a way that is fair to others, and they will lead.

I feel bad for my kids. I don't tell them that. Should I feel badly for them, or is this me getting old? I secretly wish them not to have children. Certainly not because I don't want them to know the joys of parenting, or because I don't want to be a grandmother. No, I fear for the kind of world this is. Moms should not have to work, or dads should not have to work. One parent should be able to stay home, if they choose to. We should not argue about religion, or politics or money, or sexuality etc.. We should all do what we learned in kindergarten. All I Really need to know, I Learned in Kindergarten.

I have a theory that if new parents all got together in a neighborhood, and decided to stop the madness, and let kids play outside again, that would be a huge step in creating a safer world. I think that if parents all decided to work together to introduce their kids, and show them how to be friends, and play together, we could go back to the times when kids played outside. Money would be saved because parents would not have to invest in organized, structured events for their kids. Kids could be kids again. Parents would know their neighbors, and moms or dads would be friends. Care could be swapped so that each parent had a night out. It really is just so easy, really. Really, I mean it! Easy. We would all just have to work together. 

I feel like our universe in one big Drama Triangle. You can read more about that here.
I feel like we are a toxic relationship, collectively repeating the pattern of abuse that has been played out over and over. Like the abused child that goes on to abuse, instead of learning that that hurts, and learning how to be a different, healthier adult. 

I think if would be helpful If all parents could talk to their kids about stuff like this, 10 truth bombs for middle schoolers, and this, being left out hurts, and this, funny and insightful advice for a dauther. Those are just the three I liked today. I do love social media for the content that can be shared, and the myths that can be shattered. I feel like that gives me hope. UNTIL, someone says something vitriolic and horrible, and then I feel like climbing under my covers and saying to hell with it all.   

Another thing is, you always hear the older people saying "kids these days", when I keep saying over and over and over, adults these days. I hear soooooo many adults blame today's problems on the kids, and I seriously for really real just don't get it!!!? How is anything their fault? They just got here. Even if they are 20, they are new, and they only got shown what we all showed them. They did not invent electronics. They did not go out and buy the TV, or the Ipod, or the Ipad, or the [insert device you want to complain about here]. It is in no way their fault. I keep hearing people say kids are getting away with more and more, and adults are making excuses for them. Maybe I am living with blinders on, or live a very sheltered life, which actually, perhaps I do, but I do see that kids learn respect by getting respect. They are taught respect by being respected. They will not learn respect by judging, biased people, who are raising them to follow in their footsteps, or who are breeding them to become something they want them to become. We should strive to be people who allow them to explore, and try, and discuss. We try to turn kids into adults way too soon. AND, what is so great about being an an adult? Us adults should be having a lot more fun too. Lighten up! Have fun with each other. Say hi to your neighbor. Talk about real things. Back to the kids, they are taught love by being loved. Not by being yelled at, but by being listened to, and encouraged. The older my kids get, the more and more myths I see being dispelled. Teenagers are not tough, unless you ignore what they need, and then they lose control of their emotions because their brains are still developing. Kids are not mean. I mean, they can be mean, but they are not mean. They are only acting as we have shown them, or not shown them how to act.

I suppose I could go on forever.

Brighten your day, smile at everyone you see today, and see how it makes you feel. Please, believe in world peace. Say nice things. Don't talk behind people's backs, unless it is to try to understand them better. You really can't walk in someone else's shoes and have it mean anything because you will still be on your feet. Each person's experience is unique. They smelled their own smells, and they felt their own sensations etc... Just be kind. The government is not going to fix our problems. The church is not going to fix our problems. We have to believe in ourselves enough to understand that only we will heal this world. 

If you care to read my book, you can check it out here.

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