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Perseverance - A guide to guilt free eating and mental wellness.
Once upon a
time… STOP! We all know life is not a fairy
tale. We all have a story. Life is real and how we think about life, is the
reality. I want to be crystal clear right away that, despite the fact that I
paint people in my life in a bad light at times, they are wonderful people. I
am writing under a pen name, and I have changed all of the names of the real
people in this book. Those that are mentioned, if you happen to know us, are
not to be judged by what I say. The
reasons I say the things I do, and tell the stories about my past that I tell,
are because those stories are the ones that shaped me the most. I have learned,
now, to see things in a different way. Why did I write this book? One
reason is that I cannot answer this question, “Why are you so thin?”, without this book.
In my case, it is not an easy answer and more importantly, it is not even something that matters. Being thin or heavy has nothing to do with a
person being healthy, mentally. I did
not know that, fully, until recently. I don’t have dramatic before and after
pictures of weight loss that show case the dramatic changes that have occurred.
I have noticed that people tend to not
trust that I understand emotional food issues because I don’t have great before and after pictures. My hope is that by the time you are finished
with this book, you have a before and after picture in your head that is unlike
the conventional ones you see. Also, I have been
in a book club for about 6 years and all the tragic life story books resonated with
me. I had to tell MY story! For example, we just read The Glass Castle. I was
again overcome with the desire to tell my story. I would imagine that most
people who have read The Glass Castle would agree that the author’s story is
indeed tragic. That got me thinking. It is not that I suffered this horrible tragedy at the hands of someone else. My life was
not, in others opinions, "that bad”. I certainly don't blame anyone for
any of my past events, but, tragedy and sadness and pain were the emotions I felt,
none the less.
While reading
this book, you will be walking a mile in my shoes, although, you will still be
on your feet. You may find a lot of what I write repetitive. I considered
editing so it was less so, but the
repetition is actually a very important part of my life. My thoughts tend to be
repetitive. Also, you will want to pay attention
to how my repetitive thoughts changed from an unhealthy viewpoint to a healthier one. Toward the end,
the shift happens without much fanfare. That is because, once I learned how to
think differently, I stopped over-analyzing
everything and became more at peace with all
parts of my life. I also stopped journaling, something I had done from
the ages of 17-43.
Before I sat down to write this
book, I had a list of people I thought would be interested in reading it. I
thought it was about weight loss, and how I broke my emotional eating issue,
and how I could help others, break theirs as well. As I was writing this book, however, the list grew. Here is the initial list:
This
book will be for:
1. Anyone who eats with guilt and wants to
change that.
2. Anyone who wants to finally, once and for all, have a healthy
weight, and eat food that is good for your body and food that is good for your
soul.
3. For anyone who knows what the right
answer is, but has been unsuccessful at putting it into practice.
Here is how the list
expanded as I wrote:
I believe this book will
be most interesting for:
1.
Women between the ages of 20-60.
Anyone who is ready to be honest with themselves.
2. Anyone who likes to explore family dynamics.
3. Anyone who had a troubled youth.
Anyone who struggles with their sexuality.
4. Anyone who has, or had trouble relating with their family.
5. Anyone in a difficult marriage.
6. Anyone who struggles with situational depression, and or,
anxiety.
7. Anyone who feels they don't understand why they
self-sabotage all their weight loss goals.
8. New mothers that are struggling.
Mothers of preteens.
9. Anyone with money concerns.
10. Women with job concerns.
I think any woman who is not perfect, and likes to feel united
and understood may find this interesting to read. My life story is a one
many people can relate to. I have done extensive
work to learn how to grow and be strong, and to be forgiving and loving, and to
be powerful and mentally well. This book will have a heavy focus on how my
life’s experiences related to my emotional eating issue. In the end, I will
relate how I overcame that issue, in hopes that perhaps, my solution can be
someone else’s solution.
I also want to include
who this book won't be for.
1.
Anyone who has ever said, "I have tried everything, and
I can't lose weight.”
2.
Anyone who thinks, “I can’t be happy.”
3.
Anyone who thinks, “I can’t stop my worried thoughts.”
4.
Anyone who thinks, “I can’t tell my truth.”
5.
Anyone who thinks, “I can’t change because this is how I was
raised. I am the way I am because of this person or that person or this
situation or that situation.”
If you actually still believe that, and are unwilling to stop and think,
and grow and stretch, and learn, this book will not be for you. It makes me so sad hearing people say
they can’t change. It just means you have not fully committed to doing what it
takes to learn how. Stop lying to yourself and others so you can move on and
get to the more enjoyable parts of your life. YOU CAN DO IT! Persevere. Keep putting one foot in front of the other
until most steps are going in the right direction.
If you are
still reading, hello and welcome to the inside of my head. I hope it speaks to
you as it speaks to me, and makes you THINK! Do
you have food issues? Have you ever thought of your eating issue as similar to
an alcoholic's issue? Do you over eat or eat unhealthy food and then feel
guilty? Do you OFTEN say "This time I am serious, I am ready and I am finally
gonna change my habits!" Have you kept food logs and journals? Have you
lost weight successfully and thought you had figured it out, only to find you
hadn't? Do you mostly eat healthily and with great structure
but then have low points or high points that cause you to eat in a way that
makes you feel bad? Have you repeatedly, for years, sabotaged your goals and
can't figure out why? I have! I am 43
years old and I have had food issues since I was 10. I have also had depression
since I was 9. I have stacks of journals that date back to my teens about my
struggles. As you will see, I have tried so many, many, many things. I had
never given up but, until recently, the guilt was always there. The unhealthy
emotional connection with food was still and always there. Food was my hug.
Food was my joy. Food was my comfort. Now, it is
not. Food is no longer something to turn to. Unless I am hungry.
I went from having the
thoughts of an obese person, although, I never was obese, to having the thoughts
of a person who can, "eat whatever they want". Having the thought
pattern of an obese person, but not being obese, is similar to any health related issue that you can't see. It can, if
you let it, eat away at your mind and your spirit, and consume too much of your
time. Not too many people can understand issues you can’t see because you
"look" normal. I used to be jealous of those people who could eat whatever they wanted.
I thought they must just be genetically blessed, or that they must have had a
healthier upbringing, or that they have had an easier life than I have had. That may still be true but now, I am one of them and I
want you to be too!
I told my friend, that if I could solve for myself, the emotional
connection with food that has been with me since I was 10, I would write a book
to help others solve their own issues. Hence, this book. I must warn you, my
life story is a bumpy and often chaotic ride! I don't hold back on sharing
intimate details. But, if you have an eating issue or depression or anxiety or
if you don't have peacefulness, I bet your life story is too. This book is how I
thought I had an eating issue, when in fact, I had something a bit more
insidious. If you suffer, please know you are not alone. I hope my story can
help you
People who
have known me for many years are suddenly coming up to me and asking me how I
look the way I do. I hear that
I have a glow. You see, I have exercised my
whole life. I have done the calorie counting, the high-fat, and the low-fat,
and the track your food. I have tried supplements, and “Eat at this time, and
not this time”, and “Eat for your blood type”, etc., as I will clearly show you
in my story. But, I was always just a
little bit overweight and “a lot bit”, mentally distressed about it. I will
tell you all of the things I have done.
This is not about weight loss and I cannot say that enough. It is my belief that you will lose
weight and it is my belief that
you will feel great! I have proven to myself
that it is much more about what
you feed your mind than it is what
you feed your body. If you know anyone who says.
“I have tried everything and nothing works”, please send them my way. Have them
read this.
I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV. I do not have a degree in
nutrition. I only have my life's experience on having food issues and trying so many things and never giving up. I am not going to tell you what to eat. You can eat any type of food you want! You can be vegan or gluten-free or high-fat/low
carb. or any combination of those things. You don't need to buy into any weight
loss program. You don't need to work out for hours on end. The only thing you have to do is be honest with yourself. That can be
harder than it seems!
I don't have
any known talent or natural born ability. I do have, a good job, and I love
being a mom. I am happily married, (although that has not come easy, as you
will see ). I hate to say but, because
I don't want to diminish any of that.BUT,
I feel like I am meant to share this. In one of my
desperate counseling sessions, (many of which you will read about), I was
distraught about the meaning of my life. I wondered why I was here. I wondered
what I was truly adding to the world. I feel now like sharing my story and
helping others is the answer to that question. My dream job would be to work
with people who really want to change but really do not know how yet. To mentor them and coach them to where I am
and then watch as they do the same for people they know. This feeling is
intoxicating! I would LOVE to go on Ellen and
the news and as many talk shows as I can to shout this from the rooftops!! I
seriously want people to know they don't have to have an emotional connection
to food!
About me: Well, this whole book is
about me between the ages of
9-44. Here are a few facts about the more recent me. I work full time as a Registered Dental Hygienist. I have been married for
16 years and have two kids, ages 13 and 11. I am
currently raising awareness in my area about Dyslexia. I have run two
marathons, many 5k's, two half marathons,
etc. I like to work out. Working out has never helped me keep the weight off. It got me toned and I felt better
but it never worked, long term for me to keep the weight off. The mental issues always sabotaged me.
NOW THEY DON'T!
To purchase this book, click here. It is fine that you can't read the words on the cover of the book. All of the words are on the inside.
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